"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
