remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
