he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
