office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
