we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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