You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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