Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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