me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
