i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My vagina just clenched in fear
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
