Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
