a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
