we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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