what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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