He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
