So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
