The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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