Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
