It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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