I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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