New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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