It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
