the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my poor anus
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
