He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Randomize
