Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
