The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
