stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you didnt know i had herpes?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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