Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
