your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Randomize
