We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
