i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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