I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
