cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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