it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
