Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
