im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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