am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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