Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
