So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
