K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
