I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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