This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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