He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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