Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
