Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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