I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
