Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
