god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
