8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
