U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
i think i just lost a toe
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
