dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
