My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize