We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
