How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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