Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize
